Starboy #2 - Father

    It was interesting, you know. Being the one on the other side of the principal’s office. 

It was the end of my senior year, and just as we were leaving to go to Dairy Queen, our principal ambushed our parents. Our principal, Mr. Hatchersack, was a very stern man. He used to be a principal at the middle school, where he’d always tell me how much potential I had. After he sat on one too many thumbtacks, he left for a different district, but returned just in time to see how much my life had fallen apart. 

He was a different man, now. He only ever said one thing to me, my entire senior year. When he saw me handing out flyers for my girlfriend, Anna Blumm’s, anti-war protest¹, he snatched them from my hands, wadding them up in the process, and with a mix of frustration and tiredness, he asked me: “Just what do you think you’re doing?” 

He pulled my mother, my father, and Adam into his office. Not even looking me in the face, he asked my parents if I can sit outside. Neither of them protested… why would they? 

From the other side of the wall, I could make out bits and pieces of the conversation… 

“You have two sons, Mister and Missus Rostenkowski. One is a brilliant, extraordinary young man, bound to make it out of this town… and the other is sitting outside of this office, and is named Vincent. Adam here is a genius. He’s wowed his teachers, with- with his brainwave scanner whatchamacallits, his research into the human psyche, all that. All of it.” 

“What are you saying?” My mother asked. 

“What I’m saying is,” Mr. Hatchersack said, “Is that your kid is too good for this school. And he’s certainly too good to get shipped off to war. We had some scouts come by, from a school way out in Minnesota. The United States University for Scientific Achievement! Now, now, I- To be very frank with you, which I’m sure is how a men and women of your stature like it, I’ve never heard the place. I hear they’re up and coming. But… They’re good. Real good. They can put you, this school, your- your son on the map!” 

There was a silence for a while. I tried to picture what Adam was going to say, but I couldn’t. The moment we all left, I decided to play dumb. Acted like I hadn't heard a thing. I sat through dinner, I ate my food, and I tried to act like I hadn't even heard a thing.

Do you ever do that? Pretend to not know something, just so you can make everyone else happy. Because it's easier that way. I hope you don't, because you'd also feel how badly it makes you just want to scream and curse the world and throw everything away.

I didn't want my brother to go away. I knew how stupid that was, but any time I thought about it, I pictured myself putting bandages on his scrapes, or me third wheeling his first date, or the two of us sneaking into our first R-Rated movie together. I thought about our failed punk band, I thought about when mom could afford just enough to take the two of us to the fair and not herself. I thought about our shared bar mitzvah, how the two of us carried our drunken father back into the house, and how he'd get our names mixed up. How everyone besides our mother got our names mixed up. Because we were just that close.

"Hey... Adam. Are you awake?" I asked him, late that night.

"Yeah." He said. He sounded guilty. Like he knew what I was going to ask him.

"Are you really going to that school?"

He was silent. Just like he was in the principal's office. But now I could see his face. And I knew his answer.

"I want to, Vincent. I really do."

And then I was silent. And I could tell that he hated my silence just as much as I hated his.

"And where will that leave me?"

It was selfish. I knew it was selfish when I said it, but I couldn't help myself.

"I- I don't know, Vin. That's- That's for you to figure out."

"I thought we'd figure it out together."

I don't remember a lot about the argument. It's been half a century since then, give or take. Anytime I thought about it, I remembered just how angry I was, but now, I can only remember how scared I was. How small I felt. How powerless. I'd either get shipped off to war and get my powers found out, or I'd take over the family business. I'd die as just another Rostenkowski.

"I want to change the world." He said. "With this- With this school, maybe I can! Maybe I can make a world that's better for you, better for everyone, Vincent."

"Without me, right!?" I said. I think I was a bit drunk. But that wouldn't have made it better. "Because I'm holding you back! Because I'm some screwup, some lowlife who can't even keep a girlfriend, and whose only friend is his lousy brother, eh?"

"Vin, you know that's not true, I-"

"Do you want to know what you told me, Adam? When we were kids? You told me you'd build some power suit, you told me that you'd be just like me. You told me we'd be heroes together. And I clung to that, Adam. I clung to every scrap of attention you gave me, because it was all I had, but it was enough for me."

"Adam, I-"

"Forget it. You can go to your stupid school. You can get out of this stupid town, like you always wanted. And you can leave me for dead, because you know that's what you're doing. I- I'm going for a drive."

I had a bit of a drinking problem when I was younger. For about six days, I stayed out of the house. Most nights, I slept in my car. Some nights, I'd crash on the sofa of a party I hadn't been invited to. Anything to stay out of the house.

No one really looked for me.

One night, I had just about had it. I stopped my girlfriend, Anna, from getting her stuffing kicked in by some anti-semites. A story I'm sure you've heard. And I was hanging around at the school a bit past dark, they left it unlocked for the kids who had clubs to go to, and I roamed around the building. There were a couple of bands geeks playing their instruments, the sound of a tuba being the only noise among the empty school.

I made my way into the gymnasium, where all the science fair projects were spread about. And I saw Adam's. The contraption was small. Delicate. He'd explained it to me dozens of times, though it never did quite make sense to me. It had a large metal box at its base, with a small adjustable tray at its center, meant for animal blood. Atop the metal base, there were two probes that extended outwards, each with small containers at either end, the containers meant to be filled with liquid Calphecite. In its liquid state, Adam told me, Calphecite had properties that seemed to warp reality to it-- or, more accurately, its controller's will. He went on to explain that the fact that my being born on a planet entirely made entirely of the anomaly could be a reasoning for my strange cababilities.

I'd always detested this notion. When Calphecite was a solid, it would make me maddeningly ill. Why would the source of my power make me so ill?²

When activated, the device would first heat the animal blood to the point of evaporation, before releasing it into the air. The two arms would rapidly rotate in a circular motion, a rotating whirr that felt particularly memorable to me. A frequency would be omitted from a speaker, one specifically designed to shatter the glass around it. The spinning cauldron of vapors would create a small tornado within the air, before ultimately sucking it up into a vial within it. It was there that the vapors would be cooled into a liquid that could be injected into a syringe.

"It would change the world," Adam said. "Humans, while the superior species, have yearned for abilities only the animals had. The impossibly long lives of turtles, the webs of the spider, hell, we could even FLY!"

And there I was. Staring at the future. Staring at the machine that would be the death of me. What would send my brother, my entire world, off to a college on the other side of the country. At what was an imitation of my abilities.

I wanted to hit something. I wanted to hit it hard.

So I smashed it.

I pulverized the device, I tore its wires out from its heart. For the first time, I destroyed, and in that moment, it felt amazing. I twisted the circuitry, the shattered glass, the turbines, the motors, ALL OF IT, into one long spindly chord. Like a snake. And I left it there.

The next morning, the day of the science fair, was stressful.

Though I was still living on my own, I chose to show up to the fair.

I greeted my mother and father, who seemed less worried than disappointed, and made polite small talk with them, the school gymnasium rife with tension as I recalled the events of the night prior.

I prayed that when my brother pulled away the red sheet that covered the abomination I'd made of his crown jewel, it'd be good as new. That I'd had dreamed the whole thing. But I knew that wasn't true. My brother raced around, checking out every last project like a school child at recess.

The USUSA representative wasn't what I expected. It wasn't a stuffy old, probably balding man, but a remarkably charismatic young man, not much older than myself and Adam. He was needle thin, with glasses and curly hair, wearing a white button up with the sleeves rolled up, his button undone just enough for his chest hair to peak through. He approached Adam first, the two approaching us, still chattering.

"Ah, this must be your family!" He said. He had a thick Italian accent. Adam nodded. He introduced us each, hesitating for a moment at my name. He flashed our family a smile that was sharp and agile, offering me and my father rather firm handshakes. In the moments after he pulled away, I caught an expression on his face I could tell he hoped I wouldn't see. One that made it clear him and my brother had talked about our last talk.

My mother, a worry-wart, and my father, ever the capitalist, bombarded Enzo with questions about the school. Enzo reassured them. He told them that the school took in boys whose minds were too good to die in war, that it offered them a second chance. He spoke to their stories as Holocaust survivors, explaining that anti-Semitic laws would decrease Adam's chances of getting into a good college, that he'd end up shipped off to Vietnam, and how he was too pure of a soul to die in a war.

And he told them his story. About how his parents were very bad people, how his father Augustus operated some of the most horrible experiments imaginable on our people. On how they died, probably the CIA (Can he say that?), and left him the fortunes they'd made on blood.

On how this project, the USUSA, was about moving past that. About not letting his father's mistakes define his entire being.

And you can say what you want. You can call me an idiot. You can say my heart is too pure for this world. But to this day, even knowing the man he would become, I think Enzo meant every word.

When the red curtain was pulled away, and the serpentine abomination of my brother's ticket out of this town laid before us, I felt like my breakfast would find itself on my shoes. Adam froze up in the moment. Enzo looked crushed. No one knew what to do.

Eventually, though sympathetic, Enzo hugged Adam, told him that they'll be in touch, and then left. I wouldn't see him for another thirty years.

On the way home, I confessed to him. My father slammed on the breaks.

It all slipped out of me. I didn't just confess to destroying my brother's machine. I confessed to all of it. How trapped I felt. How unsure of my future I was.

My father had only two words to offer me: "Get out."

1. Though Anna Blumm’s protest is often regarded as a rather mundane-somewhat unsuccessful-protest, recently resurfaced photographs seem to depict a number of individuals, scattered amongst the crowd, wearing clothing that matches that of the sensibilities of 2024. One man even appears to be made up entirely of machines. 

2. 

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Starboy #1 - Whoopings

I'm not quite sure where people got the idea that I grew up in a farm. 

It's not... completely false. I did, in fact, turn eighteen on a farm by people I considered my parents. 

But, to tell the truth, I'm a bit sickened by an interpretation of my character I've seen going around. That with all of my power, had my spacecraft crash landed with the wrong family, I would've been a megalomaniacal dictator. That I would've destroyed the planet. 

And that it's my loving family which we have to thank for making me the hero that I grew into...

I don't really like that analysis. I'm a good person because I chose to be. Humans are not clay. They're not shaped by the people around us, at least not completely. Any failure I've made, and believe me, I've failed a number of times at a number of things, has been my fault and my fault alone. 

When I landed, as an infant, in Kent City, Louisiana, I did not have the beauty that I have now. I was a thin, long creature, pale as the moon. With horns that shot out of the sides of my head, and beady red eyes. So scary! 

My mother and father were just returning from the hospital to my grandfather's farm, my baby brother, Adam, in my mother's arms. When the meteor shower began, I quite literally crashed into their front lawn. 

My mother saw through my ghoulish exterior and pleaded with my father to let them take me in. My father didn't even want the son he had, much less some ghoul from space. It took the pleading of both his wife, and his own parents, to give me a home. 

After a year, my parents discovered my first superpower: My super strength. Any time I'd play with Adam, I'd nearly tackle him, something my mother would often tease me for. They'd call me their little Hercules. The next power I'd discover, proved to be far more helpful. 

I could shapeshift. 

This is one of the few powers I never shared with anyone. Shapeshifting always felt particularly evil, you know? Even in my adult years, it left me feeling like I was wearing a body that wasn't mine. Whose body, though? 

My brother's. By the time I was ready for grade school, my parents were able to falsify some story that we were twin brothers. Adam and Vincent.

I... Never quite excelled in school. Sure, I was a phenomenal writer, and I was quick to discover that I excelled at any instrument I was handed, but mathematics? Science? The stuff they valued?

Forget about it. On the other hand, my brother was a genius. He was the one who was going to go to college, who was going to be our family's ticket to millions. 

Speaking of which, at some point in primary school, my family moved out of our grandparent's house, and we lived out of a sandwich shop that my father had opened. That I worked at, while my brother was given free reign to study away. Still, during the few hours I spent off, and he spent without his head in a book, we'd be running through the streets of Louisiana, getting into as much trouble as possible. Our aunt also lived with us. I forget about that, a lot. 

One time, we summoned a demon just to shoot her with BB guns for a half hour. Got the whoopings of our lives after that one. Sorry, Miss Harmonia.

By the time we got to High School, I was scared. All I ever knew was Kent City! Now, you're telling me I have to go off to college? Or... worse. America was getting mixed up in 'Nam, and... Things were not looking good. 

And with the Jewish quotas a lot of schools had? And with my GPA? Well, we didn't have many years left. 

One night, Adam woke me up. "Vincent! Vincent! You... You have to see this." I groaned. 

"Adam... Can it wait?" Adam shook his head. He had that wild, crazy look to him, that I had grown incredibly familiar with. I sat up a little quicker; whatever he had too show me was either really gross, or really cool. Probably both. 

In his hand, he held a syringe, a glowing, red hot liquid within. From it "Behold," he said, with a grin, "Last time we were at grandma's house, do you remember when we took a look at your old ship?" 

I nodded. 

"And do you remember those rocks?" 

"The- The ones that made me throw up and then pass out?" 

"Yeah, those. So, I decided to steal a few-" 

"Of course you did." 

"-And I've been fidgeting with them in my free time, and... you're not going to believe what I discovered! I have to show you something that will blow your mind!" 

I chuckled, "If it's anything crazier than that foot long roach you showed me, I'll give you a nickel." 

He laughed at my ignorance, "You'll want to give a dollar, Vincent." 

He led me outside of the sandwich shop, to the alley way beside us, resting on a trash can. Adam had taped the trash can shut, leaving whatever was clearly inside of it to shake it around. 

"I melted down the rocks, Vincent. They secreted this... tantalizing pheromone! It's not like anything you've ever seen! Naturally, I wanted to see how it reacted with other liquids. So, I played around. Mixed it with some chemicals under the sink,  some in the science lab at school, even my own blood, Vincent!" 

Adam was beginning to frighten me. I had a tendency to sneak out of the room we shared at night, going out to drink with my friends or to see some sort of outdoor movie. I never gave much thought to what trouble Adam would get into without me there. 

"I asked Grandpa if he could take me hunting last summer, it was the most... ethical way to get the blood I needed. We killed a deer. I mixed it blood with the melted mineral and," he smiled. "It began to fizz. Like soda pop, Vincent! I- I knew I was on the cusp of something, but-- But what, Vincent?" 

Adam beat on the trash can as if it were a drum, "Whatever planet you come from, wherever your powers come from, they're ideas, Vin! And get this! I injected this- this- this deer extract I had concocted into the creature I could find!" 

I tensed up. What had Adam gotten himself into? What had he become? 

He began to remove the duct tape from the trash can's lid. I wasn't afraid that whatever horrible creature Adam had concocted could hurt me, no. I was terrified of what it meant. 

My brother had created a species. 

The moment he removed the last piece of tape, the creature knocked the trash can over, and slowly stepped out. 

A rat. 

A rat with antlers. 

"I named her Katy Beth." 

Starboy #0 - Doomed

I discovered Vincent's body. 

It was October of 2024, and I was packing my bags, ready to leave Finger City for good. The last month of my life had been a swirling clusterfuck of confusing emotions and closed doors. I was ready, I was SO, so, so, so, so ready for something new. I hadn't felt like this since I was a sophomore in High School. 

With tears in my eyes, I walked through the halls of the apartment we thought we'd spend forever in, when I realized there was one person I needed to say goodbye to. Someone who, ultimately, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I never said goodbye to. 

My next door neighbor, Vincent Rostenkowski. Vincent was an older gentleman, in his seventies. His wife had been long dead, and he didn't have any surviving relatives. I was one of the few friends he still had. Many nights, I'd visit him, and he'd tell me about everything and nothing. From his career as a musician, to his disdain to this new age of heroes. 

Vincent spoke of an older point in time, an era long forgotten. I'd often spend one moment teasing him about being an old coot stuck in the past, and then in the same breath beg him to weave me another tale of his youth. I'd sketch them all out in front of him. He was quick to point out every flaw in my art, yet he'd always save every last one of my drawings. Some, he'd laminate, others, he kept in a box. He told me that I brought his past to life. 

He convinced me to send in all my art, all my pitches, all my inspiration to 'Morningstar Comics,' back when that's what they were called. And look at where that got me.

Before the cancer left him bound to his home, we'd go on walks through the city. He'd ambush complete strangers, asking them just how much they missed the era of human achievement. He saw happy days ahead, sure, but ultimately, I doubt Vincent died happy with the world he had once loved. 

When he didn't open the door, I unlocked it with the spare key he had given me. The one he kept under his floormat he had glued to the ground, to prank any would-be thieves. From the moment I cracked open the door, I was met with the overpowering, familiar scent of a corpse. As memories I had long assumed forgotten flooded my psyche, I immediately understood that I was bound to a new curse. At his desk, Vincent's body laid, lifeless. Like a ragdoll. 

His head was missing. 

That's not to say he was decapitated... Where his head once was, where you'd expect blood to be pouring out, shot what was only comparable to television static and sketch lines. He wore these strange, confusing clothes. Like a gothic circus strongman: A black, fabric material tight to the skin, with red underwear on the outside of his pants and a flowing cape. 

The sight, the oddity of it all, frightened me deeply. It shook me to my very core. 

His funeral was brief, his mourners were very few. Just myself, some of his older friends, and two women. One was freckled with green eyes. Vincent never had any kids, nor did he have any nieces or nephews. When I asked him how she knew Vincent, however, she still described him as a close relative. She seem to be familiar with every one of his stories we had all repeated, yet she had none herself. The other woman who looked out of place dressed incredibly strangely, some sort of cross between a cheesy psychic and a ballroom dancer. She spoke of Vincent as if he was a younger brother. 

During the Shiva, we all remained close. I stayed in town for the week, letting my plane tickets go to waste. How could I not? It was so different, so, SO different from my father's funeral, and my mother's funeral was too long ago to even remember. While my father's was somber, contemplative, with very few words spoken, Vincent's was full of simple celebrations of his life. 

Death, after all, he viewed as a mere extension of life. Something that came for all of us.

Though we shared secrets he whispered to us in confidence (believe me, there were some doozies) there was one secret I kept clung to my chest. One secret I held on to, among the many he had shared in confidence. 

When I discovered his body, I called 911. As police officers and medics raced to the apartment in a frenzy, his body began to rapidly deteriorate, as if his flesh was trying to eat itself, before all that was left was the strange costume he had died in. Save for the smell of his corpse, and the faint aura of death in the room. By the time they arrived, I frantically muttered out what little I could. The police seemed... remarkably calm. Remarkably at ease. Like they weren't listening. 

They left in under 20 minutes. Simply folding up the costume as if it were a flag, a policeman wishing me a good day, before scribbling down something unintelligible on a notepad and having his partner staple it to my chest with Vincent's stapler, leaving me alone in Vincent's now empty home. 

And what did I find? What had Vincent left the world? A manuscript. 

To be frank with you, this manuscript is filled with contradictions. There are some stories, hell, even some philosophies that simply do not align with the story of the man I knew, or even American history. 

Still, however, I find myself bound to these tales. Not because I'm confused, but because I feel seen. There are stories within this manuscript about my father, about my mother, about me. Stories that knew me better than I knew myself. Stories that left me wondering if maybe I was somewhere, on the other side of the page. Someone suffering and in agony, flickering in and out of existence. Beautiful. Disgusting. Wild. Scorched. Doomed. 

And though I will never know if Vincent wanted these stories to be told, I've tried to contain these stories to my mind. I've tried to piece together timelines, I've tried to rewrite them. I've made countless copies, filled with highlighted portions and annotations made in the midst of 2 AM mania. And yet something still itches away at my brain, some cosmic truth it seems that I cannot comprehend. 

So, I share these stories with you. Because I don't know what I'd do to myself if I didn't. Because I need to.